I'm here now, mhm I'm here now. But my mind never left the room.

DEC 21 2024 0:26, edit 0:45, edit 1:15

Back in two-thousand and something, I maintained an unlisted YouTube playlist of random videos from my phone. It consisted of mundane shit like doing my homework or looking out the window on the ride home from school. I thought it would be cool to hit red on every damn thing I did and throw it to the pile of mismatched recordings, if purely for the viewing pleasure of my future self. Just imagine me looking back at the channel at age 30, when I might've sprouted children and/or held a career in IT, and recently emigrated to Shibuya, Tokyo with my Duolingo app. It would warrant an accusation of extreme naivety, but that was the point of it to begin with. I love making haphazard collections of my life experiences stored in the tight corners of the digital world and abandoning them as soon as I bore of it.

I've had my embarassing moments captured on digital mediums before, like my mom's facebook or a terrible music video I made in middle school. So it should follow that I've got my own contemporary cringe moments waiting to be self-evaluated in the future. FUTUREEEEE. I just like growth--meaning, the horrific side of personal growth that is beholding a less intelligent, less cool, less forgivable me from a world seemingly indifferent. It worries me how much I've changed within four years of high school and college. But I digress.

My YouTube channel is still accessible. And if the winds were so suggestive as to send me back to the bustling Cebu streets during Sinulog, captured through shaky camera and Samsung mic quality, then *sure* man, I'd watch it!

But I definitely really absoLUTELY do not care about what that channel amounted to. It reeks like an unkept gooner cave.

Aside from V-logging, I also dabbled in journaling for a while. Well worth the effort, that. I appreciated having to formulate my thoughts while pushing down graphite at the same time. Writing in pen-and-paper really slowed the linguistic mind to a churn. Funnily enough; it made for the occurance of some really ameteurish entries. In a sort of combustive meltdown of my hand-eye-mind coordination, I produced language about as slow and unrefined as my writing. Often I sketched in emojis after my sentences, or I filled blank lines with crude drawings to get the jibbies out. Most offensively, I veered off into unrelated asides more often than I could keep a topic. Perhaps composing via keyboard strokes is more my style, I should think? A WPM of 50-60, compared to the grueling process of my penmanship, may better coalesce with my rate of cognition.

Mood tracking apps were also a phase. They were especially helpful after a break up. Starting the semester with emotional turmoil was not an exciting prospect, so I had to buckle down and get locked *the fuck* in as soon as possible. Good ole' rockin' C.B.T. (imageine the funnier homophone) helped me with tracking my emotions. The remaining app data from that period might be its own time capsule I can come back to eventually.

And the room never left me.

So I have another little project up and running, which is Naskwak's Neocities Page! I think this'll be a fun time. I've got my right hand in HTML and CSS, my left hand in art experimentation, and another hand in my hobbies. This will be the place I can pack away my thoughts for now.

But yes, that is my purpose for this website. I'll decorate it with life updates, web development projects, art assets, and general essence of my creative visual preferences. I've got bundles of pretty wallpaper to spruce up the rooms of this place. And I have blueprints for furniture that others to enjoy when they come visit. My "home away from home" I'll call it.

Or, I'll just put shit in the bin

     and the bin will stink

       and then I'll leave!

- President Naskwak

list of cool blog titles I want to use: